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by Jared S. P. Fowler on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 at 12:57am
Late night Conjectures…

Well it’s late and I quite honestly don’t know who reads this crap, but I feel it important to write this kind of thought down.

It’s a Tuesday… one of my busier Tuesdays actually. Good day, mama was out doing her lady’s night thing from the girls from the church, while I put my kiddies to bed. I work every Tuesday night with one of my clients so I have an opportunity to read blogs… while I wait for the alarms to go off and someone’s machine doesn’t work.

Blogs are interesting; they let in a little light onto the life of people we all know. I was reading many blogs tonight and found one friend in particular that was peculiar, I read about this girl, she has a child or two perhaps and also has a husband.

This woman is nice enough. I’ve met her once or twice, not a mental patient by any means. But I read how she loves her husband and is reading all these great self help books, on how she can love him more, and be a better wife and be happier living with what she has. Books about how she can be more interested in her husbands’ life. And how she can make him feel more loved. What a great wife right?

Now the part that you don’t know… is that this husband who is cheating on his wife with her best friend’s mother or something brutal.

The point being, you have two completely opposite extremes:

1 The wife trying so desperately to change herself, to be the best for her mate,

2 And you have the lying husband S.O.B., who is mating with someone completely not his wife.

You have the truth and the lie. You have the love and the hate. And this kind of thing causes me deep grief on both sides of the story, how can the husband and father do such a immature and unmanly thing to his family, and how can the wife be so diluted in her thinking, that she needs to read a book to help her change?

Perhaps they both needed a change before this adventure began.

Now I’m not trying to say all self help books or improvement thinking books are useless, or that people who read them are dumb, I read them….but perhaps I am dumb, bad example then, but that’s not my thought, my thought is, people trying to make a honest go of marriage and love and truth, should be examining their status, way before these delusions begin.

delusions of happiness with silence and hiding your own dispair and making your husband feel like the king he is while you suffer inside and contemplate ending it all.

Relationship status checks need to start from “I Do” . They need to start from the first date even. A relationship that isn’t reviewed and discussed is not a firm loving hugging relationship at all. It’s a handshake, and handshakes can be broken at any moment, when one person becomes uncomfortable holding hands with the other.

My “free” advice is this to anyone who is actually taking the time to read this,

If you find yourself not communicating with your lover, and not discussing the things that matter, then perhaps one of you have already left the other standing there, waiting to realize it.

My positive believe on marriage and mating, is that to be completely happy, men need to realize how stupid they can be and how immature they can be and beg and I mean beg for their wife not to leave them. I mean, women are the most amazing people, they are quite able to take care of themselves and 4 children, my mother did it, my friends mother did it, most of the woman who I think are wonderful have done it. So I would think, what do they need us for?? Not very friggin’ much that’s what!.

It’s important to suck up to your wife, do nice things for her, treat her like the queen she is, ( for those Mormons reading), they are royalty you know. They are the only ones around that can bring others to this world. They can’t do it alone, they need us, but after that, you better start preparing the flowers and chocolate.

I know I do, and I by no means am perfect I’ll admit it… but I will also admit, that 9 times out of ten my wife is perfect, just by the shear fact that she puts up with me.

Hope you enjoyed this,

Cheers
Jared

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    • Tanya Halliday

      Yes !

      “Relationship status checks need to start from “I Do” . They need to start from the first date even. A relationship that isn’t reviewed and discussed is not a firm loving hugging relationship at all. It’s a handshake, and handshakes ca…n be broken at any moment, when one person becomes uncomfortable holding hands with the other.”

      That has to be one of the most truthful and beautiful statements I have ever read regarding relationships Jared !

      Thank you sooo much for taking the time to write this !See More

      April 30, 2008 at 11:16am ·
    • Angie Palfrey amazing love.

      April 30, 2008 at 11:42am ·
    • Stephanie Nelson Women are in relationships because we choose to be. I need a partner not another child. The unfortunate reality is a lot of the time we do end up with another kid! Men can be immature. amazing perspective and self reflection here Jared, well done!

      April 30, 2008 at 2:18pm ·
    • Dave McCulloch Nice insight Jared. Speaks wonders about your character! A traumatic experience that will ultimately alter this ladys perspective on her ideal relationship. Unfortunate to say the least. But perhaps now she can work on being the best for herself rather than “the best for her mate”. Who knows maybe when she finds herself someone might find her…. with a genuine interest in who she really is. Thats just my point of view though.

      April 30, 2008 at 6:02pm ·
    • Sarah Massey Shaw gave me a warm fuzzy reading it Jared I think you are great and your wife is dang lucky! it’s making me want to do a “comp inventory” with my hubby

      May 8, 2008 at 9:07am ·


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